I get inspired to write this post from last events in our home. All at once, our family got bigger for not one, but two animals at the same time! My children love animals as much as me and my husband does and we both think animals can bring positive aspects to our lives. Our children are always attracted by dogs and cats in the neighborhood, they always want to cuddle and touch them. Kids had been asking us for a while to adopt a pet. As we moved to another house that has a little private garden, we thought it’s a perfect moment to have a dog.
In my opinion, having a puppy and then a dog in their lives, can teach children three vital life lessons, that will prove invaluable as they grow up:
- 1. The Importance of Love and Companionship
- 2. Learning Responsibility
- 3. Teaching Discipline to Puppy and Child
1.What more important skills could there be as they move closer to adulthood?
Children love their parents and siblings, and although they can all have their ups and downs over the years, they’ll never fall out with the dog that was bought for them as a child. A well-raised dog is a faithful companion for life, and this can be especially useful if you have an only child or one who is usually quiet or reserved. You’ll often find children whispering in their dog’s ears, telling them the heartfelt secrets they wouldn’t reveal to anyone else, especially their parents. That’s nothing to worry about; your child is simply learning the importance of love and companionship, the two things that are surely the most essential ingredients of any happy life.
2.When our children make a loving or thoughtful gesture it brings a smile to our face, but let’s face it, they often have themselves as their number one priority. That’s completely natural and a normal stage of a person’s emotional growth, but a puppy can teach a child a whole new subject: responsibility. They’ll want to do all they can for their four-legged-best friend, and that includes feeding it, exercising it, buying it toys and presents, and taking concern in its health and happiness. In short, the skills they learn when looking after their pet dog are the same ones that in later life, they’ll use to look after their own children.
3.A puppy and a child are both adorable, but there’s another trait that can be equally applied to both: they can be naughty. A puppy needs to be shown what’s wrong and what’s right, so that it knows where to go to the toilet, doesn’t damage furniture and household items, and can be trusted near roads or when off the leash. They’ll see how important it is to be obedient, and how behaving well brings rewards. That’s just one reason why moms who buy their children a dog often see a significant improvement in their child’s behavior.
However, what is the best way to adopt a dog in a family with children?
One of the most important things is involving children from the beginning, since the choice of the animal. The goal is to communicate clearly that will bring joy but also “pain”. Here we speak about the commitment to take it out, feed it and so on. All practical aspects that need to be explained to the child! I think that more than word explanation, one useful strategy to engage children with animals, is teaching by showing and doing. In Montessori, we have a lovely expression, “Teach by teaching, not by correcting”. Children learn from observing us, will see what and how you take care of pets at home, and they will do the same. I come from a family where animals, especially dogs, were always present. I was used to take care, to feed and clean after them. I always remembered to give a fresh water to our dogs, it was one of my responsibilities as a child. I still keep in my mind memories of when, coming back from school, there was a small friend waiting for me at the door, always happy to see me.
Another aspect, no less important, is the choice of the dog. Although, each animal is an individual, in general, a female may be more suitable. They are more tolerant, more affectionate, less competitive. From my observations, I agree that females are better, especially for small children. A child, up to 5 years old can, be harsh to a puppy, so a female dog could be more like a mammy that supports everything from her baby (screaming, shouting, tearing, holding tight, carrying roughly) and still, she loves it unconditionally.
Animals in our home
As I mention at the beginning, we just got 2 animals at home! But let’s start from the beginning. Previously, we had a dog called LULU. She was our best friend ever and such an intelligent creature. We adopted her when she was a puppy and she stayed with us for almost 3 years. Unfortunately, she died in a car accident, and we suffered a lot. We spoke with our children about this lost and how we could avoid it. We often touch on this topic in our sweet memories of Lulu. We remember when and where we took her on vacations with us and what she liked doing most.
After a long time, and many pressure form children, we decided to adopt another animal. The moment seemed perfect as we moved to a bigger house with a little garden, so the dog can play outside freely and doesn’t’ have to be taken out for his needs. To say the truth, this part was always the hardest for me. Taking the dog out, even if cold and it rains and you don’t have the slightest desire to go outside, but you have to. So, this problem with the private greenery in our house, seems overpassed.
Firstly, we spoke with our children about good (for example the happiness and the joy it brings) and bad sides that HAVING ANIMALS AT HOME entails (for example the possibility of its lost).
We went to the pet shop, and our daughter has chosen on her own a puppy. Once she saw him, she could never get separated from him. It was the love from the first sight! He was small, white, fluffy and he looked like a white snowball. The dog was supposed to be a Nano Spitz, but our vet told us, it could be even a Samoyed. We’re still waiting till he becomes an adult dog to understand what breed is he. We accept him for who he is, anyway. The cat has been chosen by David. He saw him in his cage all alone and felt totally melted by his cuteness. The dog trainer told us, actually, that’s a good idea to adopt two animals at the time at the same age because they will grow up together and will accept and love one another. They’re both 3 months old and both white. My children called them: Fiocco (the Dog) & Neve (the Cat) which means snowflake (Snow&Flake), in Italian “Fiocco di Neve”. They play all day long together and they’re becoming the best friends.
The thing is they bring so much love and joy in our home every day and a little bit of craziness, too…. Yes, a crazy joy of having animals at home entails the stress, from the other side, if things are not managed correctly. For myself, I’ve decided to call onto specialists’ tips.
A dog trainer, Simone Della Valle, explained in his two books: “Come (e perche’) sceglieren un cane”, from Tea edition, and “Un cane per tutta la famiglia. Missione cuccioli” from De Agostini suggests:
Practical advice and false beliefs that help first in the choice and then in the relationship between the puppy and your child.
What we need to avoid:
- NEVER GIVE AN ANIMAL. Children must be involved from the moment of choice.
- DO NOT GET CONFUSED FROM THE SIZE. Sometimes a small dog ends up being interpreted and treated like a toy.
- IT IS NOT AN ANTI-FEAR. Those who think “I bring an animal into the house so children will no longer be afraid” – they’re not right. The situation can get worse.
- PUPPY IS NOT BETTER. Idea that a puppy and a baby grow up together? Not always: the character of the adult animal cannot be predicted.
From tips above, I definitely agree with the one about the size – even if small, is always an animal and it needs to be respected and treated as one. And I definitely agree with the statement that giving animals as a present, is always a bad choice.
What should we do:
- SLEEPING TOGETHER – it is OK: but the animal doesn’t have to “pretend” it.
- CLARIFY WHAT MEANS ADOPTION: Especially under 8 years old, you have to explain to your children, what the animal can do at home, what are the “general rules” and what are child’s responsibilities.
- STIMULATE CHILDREN IN RELATION WITH THE PUPPY. It has positive effects on the immune system and increases empathy.
- INVOLVING YOUR CHILD IN ALL PRACTICAL ASPECTS – YES! from buying it toys and presents, taking concern in its health, like going to the vet, cleaning and feeding.
After reading this article, I hope you get your idea even to adopt a puppy or not. As a parent, I see many positive aspects of having animals at home, much of them described above. I know, pets require a lot of time, sacrifice and dedication, therefore many families do not decide for them. I definitely agree with their decision and I respect their choice.
Anyhow, I encourage you to seek for a contact with animals for your child, in any possible way. It could be a monthly walk to the local Zoo or to the countryside where the animal farm could be found. You can simply visit a friend with a puppy or a cat. You can even take an initiative to help animals from your neighborhood by feeding homeless dogs or visiting and donating to the animal shelter.
Kids who take care of dogs learn what it feels like to have a living creature rely on them, and that teaches responsibility in a way little else can. Caring for a dog creates a sense of empathy and a respect for life. Your encouragement, along with the tail-wagging gratitude of the dog, will create a lasting feeling of self-esteem that will follow the child through life.
