I’m not so far removed from reality to think that I am a perfect parent. I know that I am not, but I try my hardest to parent in a loving way that fosters a creative, safe, and warm environment. One of the most powerful tools to make or break a peaceful home is words. Oh, the power of words.
I know that the words “don’t cry” can be emotionally damaging to children. Yet, one night, as my patience became totally depleted, I found myself uttering these words without much empathy. My preschooler was upset about something I deemed trivial. “Don’t cry” flew out of my mouth.
The Health Benefits of Crying
Researchers have discovered that the chemical makeup of these tears is different from non-emotional tears. Emotional tears actually contain:
? Stress hormones (one of which is cortisol)
? Prolactin
? Natural painkiller (leucine encephalin)
? Manganese, which is a natural mood regulator.
? Stress hormones (one of which is cortisol)
? Prolactin
? Natural painkiller (leucine encephalin)
? Manganese, which is a natural mood regulator.
Crying Helps the Healing Process
Certified relationship coach Chris Armstrong stresses the importance of crying as part of the healing process.
According to Armstrong:
“Crying is an outlet that has fewer casualties than isolation, anger or passive aggression. Crying is an instant release mechanism that allows the healing process to begin quicker. When men want to cry but don’t, they are simply trading in that outlet for something else. As a result, moving on from whatever wrought the emotion becomes that much harder.
Whether a boy is healing from the intense emotions of a rough day on the playground or a man is crying after a breakup, tears can be quite therapeutic.”
Whether a boy is healing from the intense emotions of a rough day on the playground or a man is crying after a breakup, tears can be quite therapeutic.”
Crying Helps Prevent Mental Disorders
This benefit of crying may seem a bit alarmist at first read; however, Harvard professor William Pollack presented his research at a conference on youth violence prevention hosted by the New York Academy of Sciences. Pollack presented his case that the anger and disconnect of young boys are at the heart of the increasing diagnoses of ADHD and depression.
?
The idea that boys should be “tough” and independent (too early) often causes an emotional clog, which can lead to depression, anger, and rage. The solution? Teach your boys how to handle emotions and how to cry. Boys don’t need to “toughen up.” They don’t need to stuff their emotions under a rug.
?
The idea that boys should be “tough” and independent (too early) often causes an emotional clog, which can lead to depression, anger, and rage. The solution? Teach your boys how to handle emotions and how to cry. Boys don’t need to “toughen up.” They don’t need to stuff their emotions under a rug.
But crying isn’t just for girls. It’s for humans; it’s a safety valve to help us process emotions before we reach the critical point.
Teach your sons to cry; teach them to process their emotions. Teach your daughter empathy, to console a crying boy, to never mock a boy (or man) who cries.
So the next time, your little boy cries, fight the urge to say “Don’t cry”. Because experiencing emotions is a part of what sets humans apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.
