Making meals happy moments in the family, celebration of food and how to put stress away with children at the table.
First, let us make an examination of conscience, and answer sincerely at these questions:
- Do you pay attention for how and where we eat?
- Do you have no “distractions” around you (TV, computer, telephone) and are we fully focused on your food?
- Do you and your children eat dinner together giving the opportunity to talk freely, without judging?
- What are your routines about the dinner?
- Is the meal time an opportunity to relax and enjoy your family time together?
- Do you devote your maximum attention to your meal, pay attention to taste, texture and relish every bite?
- Do you eat regularly?
- Do you explain to your children what they have on their plates and give them opportunity to choose what to eat by themselves?
Eating meals should be a pleasant and shared experience. If you automatically feed the children, they will not be inclined to express their needs and develop their autonomy. To help them, you must begin by executing the task for them, then with them, and finally, letting them perform it on their own. With this process, children will progressively learn to feed themselves while respecting their needs and limits.
Beyond that, here are a few simple tricks that will help you teach children to feed themselves.
- Create a pleasant atmosphere during meals by establishing a simple routine and playing soft, calm music.
- Involve the children in the dinner preparation. They can start helping at quite an early age. Tell them what you are doing, let them try the ingredients.
- Take your children shopping, let them choose some food and prepare that food that evening. When your children have been actively involved in the dinner preparation, they will be more open to try and enjoy the food.
- Eat with the children as often as you can. Sit at the table, and have a proper family dinner experience. Don’t turn the tv on (you could even argue to turn the music off). Dinner is a social experience, it’s about connecting with each other and sharing the pleasure of each other’s company and good food. Set the scene, make a nice table, use little bowls, napkins, light candles, etc
- Don’t allow negativity about food, instead be positive and adventurous about food. Set the right example; don’t ‘dislike’ food yourself. If you love food, your children will love food. I’ve had children at my table who started to be negative as soon as I served the food on the table. “Oh, tomatoes! I hate those! Eeeks, I don’t eat brussels sprouts, they are disgusting. In general, we want children to understand that the food that we buy, prepare and serve on our table, is good, healthy and delicious food. we don’t allow children to be disrespectful to this food, or to the cook (you!) who has done her best to prepare a yummy meal.
- Expose your children to different varieties of food from a young age. Don’t generally cook ‘child-friendly’ dishes for your children, serve them regular adult dishes with regular herbs and spices.
- Provide attractive utensils and dishes that are adapted for children. Plastic items are best with little ones.
- If you have a fussy eater, avoid giving juices and snacks as this will fill up their tummies and make them less inclined to eat at mealtimes.
- Do not give up! Keep offering and encouraging children to try different types of food and flavors.
- To help children learn to use a spoon, place your hand over theirs and draw the spoon up to their mouth. Their brain will register the “I am eating with a spoon” movement.
Of course, you can use games and activities to teach your children how to learn to use a spoon, cut food items, or pour from a pitcher. For example, let them use a plastic knife to cut modeling dough, encourage them to fill glasses with water using a pitcher outdoors on a hot summer day, or invite them to “feed” dolls. Through play, children will develop different abilities that can be quite useful during meals. You may even have fewer messes to clean up…but I can’t guarantee that!
