It is time to start preschool. Your child has been prepped about the first day of preschool and was sent to bed early.
Are YOU excited about the first pre-k drop off? If you’re like most parents, you are dreading the first day of preschool (or daycare).
This is probably the first time you will be separated from your baby for a long period.
As much as it’s hard for you, it’s a lot harder for your toddler.
When your little one is about to start preschool, people may keep telling you stories of how their preschool kids cried for weeks or months before they could settle in the new place
… but kids crying on the first day of preschool is normal
… screaming and crying are normal
… separation anxiety in preschoolers are normal
… eventually, they will stop and the child will adapt to the new environment
… You just need to get used to it.
- Don’t forget to say goodbye when leaving and point out the time of return. No sneaky disappearance – sneaky disappearance may make the parents feel better because they don’t have to face the child’s devastating cries. But to the child, being abandoned damages the child’s trust in you. So always say goodbye before you leave to build trust.
- Don’t linger! When it’s time for drop-off, keep your goodbyes short, sweet, and simple. Give her a quick hug, tell her how much you love her, and leave her in the hands of the capable teacher. Even if she’s crying hysterically, she will likely only cry for a few minutes once you’re out of sight. But if you linger, the crying will probably last longer.
- Let the child take their favorite toy with them – a soft toy or a car, it is important that the child has his comforter for more difficult times.
- In the first period, try to shorten the duration of your baby’s stay, gradually extending it. Perhaps during the first few days, you can pick up your baby earlier?
- If the child finds it harder to say goodbye to his mother or the first break-ups are a lot of stress for her – consider being escorted by dad or, for example, father or grandmother.
- For children, time is abstract. Make an appointment with her that you will come back, e.g. after lunch or after playing in the playground – it will be easier for her to wait for you when she knows when she can expect you. Punctuality is important – the child waits, for her minutes are like hours. Keep your word! Try to always come on time!
- If your child’s fears are strong, you know she has trouble adapting to new situations – consider starting preschool in November, in May, or some other “non-standard” month. Then the caregivers’ attention will be more focused on her because most children start their adventure in September, so by then they will probably be adapted.
To do at home
Give her your full attention at home whenever possible. Ask and answer questions. Listen and bond with books and play. Tell her that you are proud of her for going to school. Reassure her with hugs and often tell her you to love her. Then you will hear the greatest words on earth, “I luv u too, mommy.” Believe that she will be okay. That you are starting a new and exciting adventure.
How come she doesn’t cry in the preschool anymore?
Yes, she is crying. She cries in the morning before leaving home and cries when separates with you, but there is a great chance that she will stop as soon as she loses sight of you, and the wise teacher will take good care of her. She finally stops crying.
And here comes the moment for us to talk about maternal emotions. The child stopped crying and the question arises in us: How is that? It seems good because we put so much effort into making sure that the child goes to kindergarten with a smile. We pick up and learn that today she cried only 15 minutes. Then our emotions come to the fore: How is that possible? And why only so much? I carried my baby nine months under my heart, 12 hours of labor in pain, and now she only cries 15 minutes for me? What is this all about? She doesn’t love me anymore?
The point is, the adaptation process is coming to an end. Joy! It’s a reason to be proud! When picking up from preschool, ask your child what good happened today, (not if the child cried for a long time today and how many times). Scratching wounds and remembering sad events is not a way to tame September sorrows.
Your emotions are just the tip of the iceberg. You and your child still need to learn independence, get to know new situations, communicate with peers, etc. There is a lot of it, but to go through.
There are times when a little more time has to pass. Overall, just be sure to enjoy the first day of school and let yourself be happy or sad or whatever it is you might be feeling. And allow your child to, too!
Ultimately, kindergarten is an an important stage in everyone’s life.
Robert Fulghum was right when he said:
“Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten.”
Wishing you a great start of the preschool and a wonderful school year,
Joanna
xxx
